Shatter for You: Part 21

Shatter for You Novel Cover

Jess

Adam is doing things to me – crazy, hot, delicious things that turn me inside out. The cool wind that made me shiver a minute ago is the only thing now saving me from exploding into a ball of heat in Adam’s arms. The way he’s kissing me…it’s as though he knows exactly what I want and just what turns me on. Thank God he has me pressed against the door and he’s holding me up because I don’t think my legs work right now.

“I’m going to let us in,” he tells me, tearing his mouth from mine and trailing hot kisses down my neck.

I arch against him, about to remind him I’m the one holding his keys. It seems as if I haven’t been paying attention, however, because he’s unlocking the door with the keys I took out of his pocket a minute ago.

“How…?” I start as he opens the door and carries me in, my legs still wrapped around his waist.

“I have moves,” he assures me, a smirk on his very sexy face.

That I don’t doubt. If earlier is anything to go by, he’ll have me beat in this game he’s started. The first to come loses. Just the look on his face as I tasted him nearly had me climaxing a third time. But I’m not going down without a fight. I felt how close Adam was to finding release.

As soon as we’re through the door, I put my legs on the floor and slide down his body, flicking one of the straps of my dress off my shoulder. While I hold his gaze, I pull the zipper down my back as far as I can and then push the other strap off my shoulder. When I shake my hips, the dress slides down my body, pooling at my feet. I stand there, gazing at him, waiting for the awe to set in like it has in the celebrities and millionaires I’ve seduced before him. I know I look good. This body has made me a lot of money, and I went all out before my date tonight – waxing my body within an inch of its life. My black high cut lace underwear and strapless bra are designed to tease and titillate.

And I can see he’s affected – he’s breathing hard and his blue eyes are nearly black with lust. I stalk towards him, swaying my hips seductively. As soon as I’m in front of him, I expect him to kiss me or touch me. Instead, he straightens and puts his hands on my shoulders. His expression is so serious, I’m immediately worried.

“Do you need a cup of tea before we start?”

“Tea?” I choke out. I’m so aroused, my underwear could probably do with being wrung out and he’s talking about tea? “Are you serious?”

“No to tea? Good.” He picks me up as if I weigh nothing and throws me over his shoulder, smacking me lightly on the bottom as he does so.

“Adam,” I gasp.

Damn it, why do I just feel like I lost my edge – the only one I had. He slips his hand inside my panties and strokes his hand over my backside, causing me to tremble and the walls of my sex to clench.

“You don’t play fair,” I cry, need ratcheting up in me. I want him. I want him so badly right now.

“Fair? You’re going to come for me, Jess. And then I’m going to spend the rest of the night fucking you so good, you won’t know where you end and I begin.”

I moan loudly, enjoying the mini orgasm his words trigger in me. “You win,” I pant, desperate for the game to be over. I’m ready and determined to take back control of the situation. I want to touch him and I want to taste him. I want to look at him and watch his eyes grow dark as I take him in my mouth. He felt more than impressive in my hand, all that power encased in something so hot and silky. I want to taste him on my tongue and milk him with my mouth.

Adam’s fingers delve further into my underwear. If he wasn’t holding me on his shoulder, I’d probably fly off. Feeling his palm flat on my bottom while his fingers stroke me is too much. If I could slide back on his fingers, I would. I need to feel him inside me so badly.

“Fuck, you’re wet, Jess. I can’t wait to taste you. I want you to come on my tongue. I’m going to drink you up.”

I’m breathless and incapable of standing when we get to his bedroom. He lowers me to the floor, but I don’t let go of his shoulders for fear of falling over. I want to unbutton his shirt and unzip his pants, but my balance is shot. So much for me taking control of this situation.

He undoes my bra with a quick flick of his wrist, cupping my breasts and caressing my hard nipples with his thumbs before he picks me up and sends my flying through the air. I squeal, afraid during the millisecond it takes for me to land on the bed behind me. I’m panting and gasping as I lie there, shocked. After the shock wears off, I inhale the scent of him that clings to his bed. Heaven.

He crawls over me a second later, sans shirt and pants. I’m devastated I missed him taking them off, but being underneath him, his body above mine, caging me in, takes the sting out of it.

“Jess,” he murmurs softly, staring into my eyes intently for a moment before he dips his head and kisses me.

Normally, I feel I have a role to play during sex – a fantasy to play out. I enjoy sex and I don’t mind giving a good show. It makes me feel good to make the man I’m with feel good. Plus, I kind of feel as though it’s expected. But with Adam, I’m incapable of putting on any show or doing anything other than losing myself in the pleasure he makes me feel. I want to please him and pleasure him, but instead I’m left clinging to him, desperate for everything he can give me and begging for more.

“Adam, please,” I whimper when he begins kissing my neck.

“What do you want?”‘

“You.” God, I want him. “Please. Fuck me.”

He stops kissing my neck to look at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Did you just say the word, fuck?”

“I told you I swear. If the occasion calls for it.”

His full blown grin gives me butterflies in the stomach and I lift my hips, desperate to feel him against me. Unfortunately, he moves his hips away from me before I can feel him.

“I told you I’m going to make you come.”

“You already have.”

“And I want to taste you.”

My protest dies on my tongue when he takes one of my nipples in his hot mouth, tugging at it softly and causing my womb to contract.

“Adam.”

My fingers fly into his hair as he shifts to take the other one in his mouth, lavishing attention on it with his tongue and teeth until I feel feverish, my orgasm building once more. I moan when he stops and kisses his way down my body. I lift my hips, ready for him to touch me there. I’ve never cared much for guys doing this. Some of them are okay at it. Others are…well, I’ve had to fake a few orgasms just to stop them from continuing. As Adam slides my underwear off my hips and down my legs, however, I know I’m not going to have to fake it with him. I’m so turned on that I’ll probably come the moment he touches me.

“You smell so good.”

His voice is so husky my womb contracts again. I raise my hands over my head and hold onto the head of his bed as he positions himself between my thighs, placing a soft kiss first on one thigh, then the other. Then he’s parting me and my hips shoot off the bed as his tongue glides over me a couple of times before zeroing in on the area I want it the most. The pressure isn’t too soft or too hard. It’s freaking perfect, and I know he’s done this before.

Thankfully, all thoughts of his previous lovers are pushed from my head as he continues to stroke me with his tongue and kiss me as though he’s having the time of his life.

“Come for me, Jess,” he says, killing me by stopping. “I want your orgasm flooding my tongue. You taste so fucking good. Give it all to me.”

I hold onto the bedhead, writhing and moaning as he puts one arm under my hips and brings me even closer to his mouth, intensifying everything. My whole body is shaking and I can feel myself right there on the edge – my whole body is on fire, everything from my hands to my feet. I’m breathing so hard and fast; my heart is pounding. My hips are moving up and down ever so slightly, as much as his arm underneath me will allow, so I’m riding his tongue. And when he uses his free hand to stroke my breast, caressing my nipple and tugging on it lightly while circling my clit with his tongue, I go over, shouting his name loudly.

His long, low moan of approval as I come sets me off even more fireworks, and I feel wave after wave of pleasure wash through me as he continues to lap at me, wringing every last drop of satisfaction from me. It feels never ending. I don’t even realise my hands are tangled in his hair instead of on the headboard until he gives me one final lick, wipes his face and starts moving up the bed.

I stare at him as he looks down at me. I’m completely overwhelmed by the feelings he evokes in me. I don’t know what to say. No one has ever given me the pleasure he just gave me. He’s damn good with his hands and mouth, but that’s only half of it. Not once tonight have I felt the need to pretend I’m something I’m not or put on a show. His navy blue eyes see all. The moment I went to try and be that girl who performed, he reminded me he’s different than every man before him. No one has ever allowed me to just feel and experience sex and pleasure the way he has. I reach up and touch his face, needing to communicate something, even though I’m not yet capable of words.

His gaze grows even more intense. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

It takes me a moment to work out why he’s asking. When I do, I nod and curl my hand behind his head, pulling his lips towards mine. The taste of myself on a man’s lips isn’t something that has ever turned me on before. Tasting myself on this man’s lips, however, is enough to make my belly flutter and desire to coil once more. I open my mouth, letting him in, losing myself in his kiss and his touch.

With any other man, I’d be worried things feel uneven. Adam has given me far more pleasure tonight than I’ve given him. I run my hands over his shoulders, moaning as he deepens the kiss even further. I caress his back before letting my hands roam over his backside and trying to push his boxers off his hips.

He breaks the kiss long enough to help me get rid of the boxers, and I only have a second to admire his size and girth before he’s kissing me again. I reach out and wrap my hand around him, feeling him jerk in my hands.

“Jess.” He moves backwards, away from my hand while trailing kisses over my face and jaw and neck. “I’m not sure how long I’m going to last. I’m sorry.”

His voice is so damn low and deep and sexy, I quiver. Everywhere. “I don’t care.”

It could be a second, or thirty, or a whole entire minute he lasts; it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I have him inside me. I’ve never felt as connected to anyone as I do to Adam right now. The sound of my heartbeat is so loud I’m sure he must be able to hear it. I can’t remember the last time I felt nervous like this before sex.

“Do you have a condom,” I whisper.

He kneels and grabs a foil packet out of his top drawer. When I notice his hands shaking, I take the packet from him and rip it open. I carefully use both hands to cover the tip of him, and I’m about to roll it down his length when he puts his hand on top of mine. “Slow. Please, God, slow.”

He sounds tortured and his eyes plead with me. Clearly, he’s close to the edge. The intensity in his gaze takes my breath away. I let him guide my hand down his erection at a pace that is painfully slow. When the condom is on, I lie down. He follows me down, supporting his weight above me by leaning on his forearm. I gasp and spread my legs as I feel the blunt head of his erection press against me.

“Jess.”

He’s watching me intently, pinning me there with his gaze as he pushes forward.

I scratch my nails down his back and arch my hips, loving the feel of him sliding all the way into me and filling me completely. “Adam.”

He feels incredible, absolutely incredible, and I have to wonder if I’ve been doing it wrong all this time because it’s so much better with him.

So much better.

“I need a moment,” he whispers in a voice that is barely recognisable.

I can feel the hot hard length of him pulsing deep inside me, and I can’t help but respond. The walls of my sex clench around him, holding him there inside me and causing him to groan.

“This is all going to be over far too quick.”

I caress his cheek with my fingers, making sure he’s focusing on me. “It will still be the best I’ve ever felt with anyone.”

Something passes over his features and I worry I’ve said too much, especially since this might just be a one-night thing. But I don’t have time to evaluate the damage of my words properly, or the way my heart hurts at the thought we’ll only have tonight, because he starts moving slowly, shallowly thrusting while he watches me intensely.

I cling to him and close my eyes, wrapping my legs around his hips and pulling him closer. Despite the fact I’m trying to focus just on the pleasure I feel every time he moves, I can’t help but notice the fact that I feel what he’s doing everywhere, especially in my chest and heart region. As the feelings build and he starts going faster and deeper, my heart expands and contracts and I worry he’s going to give me a heart attack.

I’m ridiculously close to having another orgasm when I feel his body start to tense. I open my eyes to watch him. Our gazes collide and I feel full – full of him, full of the emotions he makes me feel. I watch him shout my name and give vent to the climax his body has been reaching for, pumping me full of him. Ridiculously, for a second I wish he wasn’t wearing the condom.

He collapses on top of me, burying his face in my neck before raising himself up again and taking his weight off me. Still buried to the hilt inside me, he kisses me so beautifully that I start trembling with the power of the emotions I’m experiencing. Tears spring to my eyes, shocking me and horrifying me. I’ve never been emotional after sex, yet here I am, ready to fall apart in his arms and sob, while I beg him to stay with me tonight.

And tomorrow night. And the night after that. And maybe the next month, and the next year.

No sooner have I thought it than Adam wrenches his mouth from mine and looks down at me lustily. In that moment, I know. I know that I’m in love for the first time. I know I’m in love with Adam Granger. And I know I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my whole damn life.

***

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The next morning I crawl out of Adam’s bed, doing my best not to disturb him. I suspect he’ll be out for a while, considering we only fell asleep a couple of hours ago. I wish I too was still be sleeping; I feel like the walking dead. But I tried to go back to sleep and I couldn’t. My mind is active and I need to talk to someone.

Tiptoeing out of Adam’s room, I search for my handbag. When I find where Adam dropped it, I reach in for my phone and find a few missed phone calls from Kristy. I wonder if Logan has talked to Kristy about his concerns regarding Adam and me.

Logan made no attempt to hide his disapproval last night. I’d felt blatantly uncomfortable with his hostility, especially since Adam’s other friends and co-worker were with us. While I’ve concluded it’s important to be real with people – to be sincere and genuine, good manners are still important to me. Logan’s behaviour bordered on rude and I need to confront him about it. I understand his concerns, but I have no intention of screwing Adam over or hurting him. If anything, I’ll be the one hurt at the end of this – whatever this is.

I hold my phone in my hand, turning it around and around as I contemplate ringing Kristy and facing Logan right now. After a moment of contemplation, I send Naomi a message instead.

Me: What kind of shape are you in this morning? I need to talk…

I get a text back nearly straight away. Still in bed. Awake, but trying to find motivation to get up. Meet for coffee at Kristy’s café?

Thinking of Kristy’s co-worker – the one who looked at me like I was a man-eating shark – I shake my head and text back for her to meet me at a coffee shop halfway between her place and mine.

When I get her text, agreeing on the time and place, I put my phone back in my bag and ignore the guilt I feel by not messaging Kristy and seeking her out to talk.

I shower and get dressed, praying Adam doesn’t get up before I’m out the door. I don’t know how to deal with last night. I know what I want – I want more. I want all of him, but what are the chances he’s going to want the same? He told me he doesn’t want a relationship. The only woman who ever made him reconsider that standpoint was Kristy, and I’m nothing like her.

Tearing a piece of paper off the notepad on the fridge, I write Adam a note.

Gone out for coffee. Will bring one back for you. J.

I ignore the desire to doodle love hearts and kisses all over it and leave.

Naomi is sitting just inside the door of the café when I walk in. She stands up and I give her a hug. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Hey, I need coffee.”

Her voice sounds hoarse, like she’s still waking up, and she’s wearing sunglasses. “Nay, are you hiding a hangover under there.”

She pushes her glasses up with her index finger and I see her eyes look as bloodshot and tired as mine feel. She holds up her thumb and forefinger. “Just a little one.”

I laugh until she indicates I should be quieter. “Sorry,” I whisper.

“I’ll be fine. I just need coffee.”

“You could have stayed in bed,” I say. “I wouldn’t have taken it personally.”

She shakes her head and then winces. “I need to sober up and get better. I’m supposed to be going into work this afternoon. I have to meet a client, and she’ll probably run screaming if she sees me like this, not to mention my boss won’t be happy.”

“How’s work going?”

“Jess.” She places her sunglasses on the table in front of her. “You didn’t ask me here to talk about work, did you?”

“No.” I look over at the counter. “Should we order first?”

“Please,” she says.

“Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you.”

After she gives me her order – something greasy and full of fat, plus coffee, I walk up to the counter and purchase food and drinks for the two of us. Then I sit down again, passing Naomi a glass of water.

“Thanks.” She takes a sip. “You want to tell me why I’m your first port of call this morning, instead of Kristy?” she asks.

“I slept with Adam.”

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. I hadn’t intended to be so blunt. Adam is definitely rubbing off on me.

“I was so not expecting that.”

I smile. “I wasn’t, either.”

“I knew you had feelings for him, but…”

“I’m in love with him, Nay,” I whisper, afraid of anyone other than her knowing – even if it is a complete stranger just walking past. “And I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t think his feelings for me resemble mine for him. He doesn’t do relationships, and I’m not sure he wants one. And he believes I don’t do relationships either. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or how I should handle this. He said having sex could screw everything up. I didn’t want to believe he was right, but I’m worried he might be.”

“Okay, just stop for a moment and breathe, or you’ll end up hyperventilating. When did this happen?”

“Last night, after we left the pub.”

She nods. “You guys were looking awfully chummy last night. You know Logan isn’t happy about you living with Adam?”

My stomach fills with lead. “I know he’s worried about me…taking advantage of Adam.”

“Jess.” She shakes her head. “You’re not taking advantage of him.”

“Of course I’m not. I’m in love with him. How do I deal with this, Nay? I don’t even know how I’m supposed to face Adam when I go back to the house? What if he tells me last night was a once off?”

“There’s no use getting wound up about this before you’ve even broached the subject with him. You could be freaking out over nothing.”

“Maybe.” I blow out a breath as a waitress brings over our order.

Both of us dig in straight away, momentarily pausing the conversation.

After a few mouthfuls, I put my fork down. “I’m so used to things being casual with guys. It’s much easier when they never really mean anything.”

Her expression is sympathetic, but her smile is sad. “I think it’s a good thing you’ve fallen in love. You’re changing, just as you told me you were. You’ve let go of your need to control everything enough to sink into emotions and feelings which you never have before.”

“I wish I could feel better about it. Instead, it just…terrifies me.”

She nods. “I get that, but I still think you should take this as a positive. No matter what happens with Adam.”

“That’s all well and good to say now, but I doubt it will be much comfort when Logan and Kristy are getting married, and I’m seeing Adam at every friend function, while he’s moved on and I’m still hung up on him.”

“Again, you haven’t spoken to Adam. You don’t know what he wants. Do you know what you want?”

“I want…I want a relationship. A real one.”

All the bells and whistles, the likes of which I’ve never had or experienced before. And it terrifies me – the thought of being all in with Adam, of letting myself fall and being committed to him, but that’s what I want.

“Okay, then you need to tell him that.”

“What if he rejects me outright?”

“Look at what you’ve dealt with so far this year, Jess. Are you telling me you couldn’t handle a man turning you down after your career exploded in front of you?”

“He’s not just any man. He’s the only one who has ever mattered to me.”

“Then don’t screw it up,” Naomi says. “Tell him how you feel and put yourself out there. Adam seems like the kind of guy who appreciates honesty and sincerity. Don’t bullshit him or yourself.”

“Logan will have a field day. And I don’t know how Kristy will like it.”

“Kristy knows you and loves you. She’ll see how much you care about Adam. Clearly, Logan isn’t there yet, but he’ll get there.”

“Will he?”

Naomi’s grin is lopsided. “You have to believe he will.”

We go back to eating in silence before I remember I have something else I want to talk to her about.

“When I was lying down with Adam, my mind was blissfully blank for a moment – in a way it hasn’t been since everything happened with Grant in London.”

Naomi nods. “Great sex has a way of clearing your mind.”

“I guess that explains it then.”

“It was good between you guys, I assume. If you realised you love him.”

“It was…unreal. He’s the best lover I’ve ever had, and you know I’ve had a few.”

She nods and then frowns suddenly. “What about Jake? You were on a date with him last night.”

“I’ll have to break things off. Not that we’re together, technically. I know he wants to see me again, but he’ll understand when I tell him I’m falling for someone.”

“It’s such a shame. All that perfection and-“

“Are you sure you don’t want me to introduce you to him?” I laugh.

“No. Remember? I need my fantasy. And I’m way too busy with my career.”

I can’t remember the last time Naomi wasn’t busy with her career. I’ve done well for myself, but Naomi has worked even harder than I have for the publicity firm she works for.

“Okay,” I shrug. “Anyway, when I was lying there next to Adam, content and completely in the moment, something came back to me.”

Naomi sits up a little straighter. “What do you mean?”

“I remember a man’s face from that night I supposedly slept with Grant. Just snatches of his face and dark hair. I think he was carrying me.”

“And this is the first time you’ve had any flashes of that night?”

“I thought I didn’t remember any of it, but maybe I do. I wasn’t sure I did sleep with Grant, and Adam believes I was set up. I’ve been reluctant to believe it in case…”

“It’s not true.”

“Right. But there are a lot of things about that night that don’t add up. I put it down to how much I drank, but Grant was drinking like that too. He was stumbling around, looking drowsy. How did he get it up if he was that drunk? And then there’s…”

“And then there’s what?” Naomi asks, leaning closer, clearly hanging on every word I’m saying.

I take a deep breath, getting ready to share something else. “Grant was quite well endowed. I remember that from when I woke up and saw him naked.” He’d been around the same size as Adam and today I’m definitely a little sore, even after all the foreplay I’d had with Adam last night. “I suspect it would have been impossible not to feel the effects of it the next day, especially since I doubt there would have been much foreplay.”

Naomi nods.

“And then there’s the fact there was no condom. I never sleep with a man who won’t wear a rubber, since I can’t afford to get pregnant in my job.”

“You’re on the pill though, right?”

“Yes, and I’m clean, but I won’t risk it. I always use condoms. Always. Even drunk, I don’t think I would have forgotten.”

“You need to look into this further, Jess.”

“I plan to.”

“And have you told Adam all this?”

I shake my head. “I’ll tell him when I get home.”

Along with the fact I might want to be in my first serious committed relationship.

My heart goes crazy just at the thought. Will he consider it at all? Or was last night just some quick fun to him and nothing more? The pain that thought causes me…I’m not sure I like this whole ‘being in love’ thing at all!


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